Letting go of your British reserve

We were lucky enough to be invited to a genuine local event, my salsa class's reunion Chinese New year do. Lots of insistent texts and emails came our way ensuring we were going, knew who would be there, what we were eating, when we would dance etc. This could have looked a bit pushy - especially the text castrating those who didn't respond as instructed to it's predecessor. I don't reckon that was the tone in was intended to evoke. Organiser was very keen for success, making sure it was a fun event.
Being a new person I tried hard to be efficient in my responses. My approach to everything to do with integration here is to smile and be amenable and hyper polite. On the occasions where I've relaxed a bit and sworn like a trooper my interlockours facial feedback could not be interpreted as encouragement (and this audience was made up of antipodeans and Europeans).
I was on a short anger fuse for some unfathomable reason, so rather gruesome episode of sulking comes first. We were going to be late - when trying to explain to Ross hy this was such a concern I said "I don't want people to think we're being rude". Really don't know how good a reason / what reality in this is or was. There's no way concern about someone thinking I'm rude could generate such fury. As ever internal dialogue:
"there's no point being angry at Ross and making this all difficult - just do some loving instead". Meanwhile on the outside - cold, tight faced and short sharp answers. Bithcin about taxis but fortunately not throwing about "this is all your fault", well at least nbot verbally. Anyway.
I don't like talking about myself behavin like that - and there's the problem. I'm caught in hateful mode - chucking shit at yourself only leads to the world around you being covered in it.
Anyway - after torturious taxi journey (grrr, fucking, bloody, damn stupid, grr, baaa, damn taxi bloody driver going the wrong way, taking longest bloody route, grr, fuck fuck. With the accompanying - why am I so hateful towards him, he may be going the best way, it's doesn't matter anyway, he's not horrible or faulted in any way, why so angry?) ...We wander around - can't find the place at all, turns out bloke's suggestion which I dismissed is correct C +C don't mean community centre but Coach and Carriage, a division of a car manufacturer. We're going to a corporate unction room. Having walked through a garage in golden strappy heels, into a service stair well, various offices and lobbies we finally make it to the Rec and KTV room. As we come in there is a buffet laid out in silver heating trays and platters. It amy look like toyota or anytown Rolls Royce but the food kinda gives it away. No mini samosa, pizza, pork pastry and cheese things. No sarnies or quiche, pastry or crisps. We got fresh crab in spicy chili and peanut sauce, fish balls, grilled sea bass, noodles, spicy soup, steamed veg, curry and later its joined by fresh sashimi and sushi. Then mango, dragon fruit, melon, not sure what it is tropical fruit and pineapple.

We discover no one is here, we're not late!!! It would seem the insistence on being prompt was only heeded by new boys us and the organisers. The finance manager, although an informal salsa class type thing they all have titles (the volunteers who organise everything), shows us through as I gushingly explain we through we were late. We're shown through to a room with a few more prompt people in it, already on the kareoke machine. This is 22nd century stuff, a huge sound system including a little flying saucer type thing that flies up and down to the floor and back picking up CD's and placing them for playing. This is all projected on to a screen and there are three radio mic's, six folders of tunes to pick and a remote control to programme your selection into.

Being British and confronted with public singing thoughts turn to alcohol, there's a bar with what looks like enough wine for me, Bloke and perhaps a couple of others. It's manned by three Chinese dudes, middle aged, skinny mustache, fat with chain and middling person who I can't recall clearly. These guys, it turns out, work here as does our HR Manager Michael, the man of the texts and emails. They sit and chat but no wine consumption is in evidence. We're offered a drink, wo ho, hot or cold drinks are in the food room. Hmm best not to ask can we have some booze so we get Styrofoam cups of lime juice to sip on, remembering parties with jelly and quosh.

Now we need to talk to people, we're very promptly introduced to lots of people and then realise I can't remember anyone's name so try and do that thing were you go I'm Natasha, this is Ross so then they can go I'm ... As ever names not familiar to me are even more difficult. Conversation is short and difficult, but good humored and smiley. Everyone is very friendly and kareoke encouragement is soon upon us. For some reason this seems like a good option, get into swing of thing etc. So pick my tunes. Consider Rod Stewert's classic I don't want to talk about it, there's no Bonnie Tyler so my standard choice is not an option. Finally settle with Roberta Flack, Killing me softly - seemed to pick the extended version without noticing as it goes on and on.

Kareoke is a bizarre thing, some sing so well others are tricky to listen too but everyone is so up for enjoyment there's no embarrassment or piss taking. And so begins our noticing the difference. These people have come here to enjoy not to attack or reduce another, they want everyone to be included and everyone to enjoy. It's so very different, everyone is making an effort and hay perhaps are contemplating suicide behind those smiles but for tonight it'll be singing, laughing and joy.

I did not fell any embarrassment, no concern for coolness, no need to quip about the some of the sights. That uncomfortable feeling of nervousness we often cover with jokey insults at our own or another's cost was not here. I was unsure, me and Ross were glad to have another there. At times it's tricky to talk to people, so friendly initially but then s small talk shrinks and sentences become to complex for either to decipher you tend to give up. But so much smiling, it doesn't matter. We met a particular lady who spoke English that I could I was more attuned too, she told us lots about Singapore, the difference between them and China, what the Chinese new year is all about, her job and times in Great Yarmouth where she studied.

We took part in Lo Hei which is a food tossing ceremony which brings us various forms of good luck and prosperity. Tasted damn good to.

We had a great time, it was so relaxed and in stark contrast to the other invite for the night which would have landed us in trendy night spot drinking cocktails talking media talk - bit of darlinging and plenty of hot air.